Here are 10 solutions for kids who won’t poop on the potty. They’ve been tried and tested by frustrated parents just like you, and they work.
One of the most common toilet training challenges a parent can encounter is when their child won’t poop on the potty. I know. You thought the worst of the diaper dilemmas were over, but often, potty training brings about new and challenging issues.
It’s more common than you think
First of all, you need to know that it is not unusual for a child to refuse to poop on the potty when toilet training.
It’s very common for kids to learn how to pee on the toilet quite quickly, but to fear pooping in the toilet. They often ask for a diaper to poop in, or they hold it and then have accidents or become constipated,
As long as the possibility of a medical issue (i.e. signs of a blockage, irregular bowel movements, etc.) has been eliminated, you can safely assume that this stage will pass, but in the meantime, consider trying some of the following solutions to see if you can get your child pooping in the toilet sooner than later.
Acknowledge their fear and be patient
Remember to acknowledge your child’s fear of pooping on the potty, and proceed with patience and empathy. If you force your child when it comes to potty training issues, it can stress your child out to the point that they become seriously constipated or impacted, which will have uncomfortable and upsetting, and sometimes, long-lasting results.
The following solutions were gathered from the HH Facebook community, as many parents have been through it with kids who refuse to do number two in the loo, and they had some terrific suggestions. Thanks to all of the parents who shared their solutions on my page
How to Get Your Toddler to Poop On The Potty – 10 Solutions that Work
For your convenience, this post contains affiliate links.
1. Teach him to tell you when he needs to go so you can put a diaper on him. Many kids will poop at naptime or bedtime because they feel safer doing it with a diaper on. If you allow him to ask for a diaper to poop in he won’t hold it until he’s in bed. Withholding can cause constipation, or, your child may resort to pooping in the diaper at naptime and removing it because he doesn’t like to be in a dirty diaper. That makes for a huge mess. We have a solution for keeping a diaper on at naptime if this is another challenge you’re dealing with.
2. Allow your poop in a diaper while sitting on the toilet. Once he masters this, the next step is to cut a large hole in the diaper before sitting him on the toilet with the diaper on. When he poops, it will go right into the potty, but the diaper will still offer a sense of security.
3. When they poop in their diaper/underwear, tell them it’s yucky, and have your child help you dump it in the potty. Talk about how poop should be in the potty because that keeps our homes and bodies clean.
4. Build your child a “potty castle“. Get a big cardboard box from a local hardware store (many times they will have these left over from refrigerators, etc.) and cut a door that opens and closes. Decorate it with paint and stickers, and make it look fun! Put a potty in the box and call it the “Potty Castle”. Let your child know they can only use the castle when pooping on the potty.
Alternatively, you can order this castle from Amazon, to save having to build one of your own.
5. Provide a step stool, or, instead of using the big toilet, consider using a potty that sits on the floor. Many kids need their feet planted firmly on the ground in order to brace themselves while “pushing” during a bowel movement. My followers love this Potty Training Ladder Step Up Seat.
6. Sing a silly song! My friend sings a song to the tune of “Winnie The Pooh” that says: “He wants to go home. He wants to go home. Send Mr. Poopy to his home, oh please… Cause he wants to go in. And he wants to swim. Let him go in the potty today- yay!” Her daughter LOVED this!
7. Many people suggest that you have your child clean up the poop. If you feel your child is intentionally pooping their pants, and if they’re old enough, you might have them go and get a pair of new undies and clean up AFTER YOU have cleaned up (to avoid germs and contamination). Example: you could clean the area and then give them a baby wipe and ask them to clean it more. They’ll still be doing the work, but you won’t run the risk of them getting anything on their hands.”
8. It could be dietary. Many kids refuse to poop because of constipation or because they associate it with an unpleasant feeling. Ask your pediatrician for suggestions on what you can do at home. They may suggest eating more fiber, taking oils, drinking more water, using Miralax, corn/karo syrup etc. Be sure to ask BEFORE trying anything new like this. You do not want to make the problem worse.
9. Read books and role play about using the potty! Several books about pooping on the toilet are listed below. You can click on them to view or purchase. After reading, you can act out the scenarios with baby dolls. Have your child put their baby doll on the potty. When baby poops, mommy/daddy wipes the baby. Then wash baby’s hands and give the baby a sticker or special treat for going poop.
Best books to help kids poop on the potty:
If you’re looking to do some reading of your own, these two books come highly recommended:
Books for Parents of Kids who Won’t Poop On the Potty:
10. Keep a chart or even use a calendar. Every time your child poops on the potty, give her a sticker to put on the chart. In the meantime, buy about 10 toys at the dollar store and keep them in a basket. When your child fills up their chart (start small- maybe two stickers?) they get to pick a toy out of the basket. This is immediate gratification for your child.
Hopefully these solutions will help your child overcome his or her fear of pooping on the toilet, and your potty training days will be behind you in no time.
For more help with potty training, many of my readers have had success with the book, Potty Train in a Weekend. There’s a chapter devoted to the poop and potty challenges you might be facing.
More Solutions to Common Parenting Challenges:
- What To Do When Your Baby Won’t Take A Bottle
- How To Wean A Toddler Off the Soother
- What To Do When Your Child Hates the Bath
- Toddler Biting – How To Stop It
- How To Keep A Toddler’s Diaper On at Nap-time
Jackie is a mom, wife, home daycare provider, and the creative spirit behind Happy Hooligans. She specializes in kids’ crafts and activities, easy recipes, and parenting. She began blogging in 2011, and today, Happy Hooligans inspires more than 2 million parents, caregivers and Early Years Professionals all over the globe.
Rosalind
good tips!! I would add a couple of things.
1. Give them permission to poop on the potty. I’ve had several friends whose kids finally pooped on the potty after being told “it is ok. This is what you’re supposed to do.” One even had her pediatrician given the child permission.
2. If the issue is constipation, putting a drop of peppermint essential oil in the potty while they sit on it may help. It serves to help relax their body and help them poop.
Jen
i very much disagree with your tip that says you tell the child their poop is “yucky.”
Many times, this is a reason kids withhold their poop. You don’t want to tell them it’s gross, nasty or yucky, especially since kids see their poop as an extension of their own bodies. <—- and that is yet another reason some kids struggle with this issue; they don't want to see their poop flushed down the toilet. It's scary for them!
Instead of telling your child their poop is yucky, help normalize it. Get some books about using the potty. Everyone Poops is my favorite. Don't make your child feel ashamed by telling them their poop is gross.
Nicole Teremchuk
I agree whole-heartedly with your comments. I too, was upset by the suggestion that you should tell your child that “poop” is “yucky.”
You are absolutely correct in saying that children view poop as an extension of themselves & they need to be supported in feeling that having a BM is a healthy and normal part of everyone’s life. labeling poop as being yucky only shames the child and creates feelings of embarrassment.
kirsty
My son refused to Poo on the potty or in the toilet. I tried everything. He would tell me when he was 4 he would do it. He would put on a pull up when he wanted to do a poo then would come tell me. We would then go through the process of emptying in the toilet wiping bottom, flushing toilet, washing hands. The day he turned 4 he sat on the toilet and did poo like he had been doing it forever – no big deal to him but it was to me lol. My advice is just let them go they will come around when they are ready, the more you push them the longer it will take. Good luck 🙂
Nicky
Jen is right.. #3 is BAD advice and could lead to the very problem this article is supposed to help with 🙁
Diane
If you haven’t seen this book yet, look for it. This classic story makes this less scary by showing your child that all animals and people poop so it’s natural that they would poop too. Besides, this is hilarious to pass on to Gramps or your favorite uncle as a gag gift when your toddler is done with it.
kristy
I have identical twin girls one of them pee’s and poops on the potty but the other only pee’s on the potty, she refuses to poop on it. What go I do?
happyhooligans
That’s what this post is about, Kristy. Tips for when your child won’t poop on the potty or toilet.
Lexar
How did you eventually get the second one to poop on the potty? going through this right now with identical twin girls…
Morgan Buchanan
My son was just scared I think. So what I did was hold him. He sat on the potty and I squatted beside him and held him in my arms and told him that it was okay that nothing was going to happen. He only went when I held them though…then over time I moved just holding his hand, to sitting on the floor in front of him, sitting on a stool outside the open door (Our toilet was in it’s own room) that took maybe a week and then he was able to go without me going with him….he would just yell, “MOOOOM! I POOOOOOPED!!!!” Meaning I needed to come wipe! ha!
happyhooligans
Awesome! What a great way to transition your way out of the room in baby steps!
Anna
A few months before my daughter turned 3 we had this problem. I tried to maker her sit on a diaper in the potty, with the diaper on on the potty… she refused.
One day I just blurted out “If you do a poopy in the potty you’ll get a… nut!” – I knew she had wanted to try nuts but thus far we had always told her she doesn’t have strong enough teeth yet.
And guess what, she just did a poop! I couldn’t believe it. So for some time, she got a walnut for every poop. I had always sworn I’d never use food (or any other reward for that matter) as an encouragement for any kind of behaviour, but I just said it without thinking and it worked.
I remember I once read about the potty candle – tell your child s/he can blow out a candle after the pee/poop; maybe easier.
happyhooligans
Hey, whatever works, right? I think it’s fab that it hit you out of the blue, but it worked so well. I LOVE the candle idea too, Anna! Thanks for sharing that one!
Emily W.
There are some great ideas here. Normalizing is, in my experience, the best route, so I strongly disagree with number three, depending on its presentation. Poop is yucky, and so is pee, and so are boogers. Emphasize cleanliness across the board, explaining (age appropriately) that these are things our body wants to get rid of and are very good for it get rid of. An additional point I’d add that makes some people I’ve discussed it with uncomfortable, is allowing the child to watch you poop, including your genitals if it’s helpful. My second had unintentionally been shamed by someone else because of a pretty stinky diaper and refused to poop on the potty for two months after a full two weeks of mostly successful potty poops. After watching me one time, she was willing to try again. After a second time she had very few further issues. Something worth considering. A trip to a zoo to support the Everyone Poops book is also a great idea.
Samantha Bowman
My daughter is almost 2 so we are starting training very soon. But for the last few months she watches me go to the bathroom. When I change her diaper whether it be #1 or #2 she basically wipes herself. So I hope using the potty is quick and easy for her
happyhooligans
It sounds like she’s definitely showing interest, Samantha. That’s a good sign!
cassie
I tried them all and my daughter still won’t poop in the potty someone help she is 3
Claudia
You talk about diapers, but no one seem to think even about the fact that, maybe, our children refuse to use the potty because they are used to poop standing!This is what I think is the problem, not that they want to poop only in their diapers. My son is 3 and he pees on the potty, but he only pooped 2 or 3 times and only because I knew “it” was coming. I did not use any rewards because I don’t think it will work. I do like the idea of potty castle!
That being said, I do not wind up about it because I am sure he will, eventually understand an do the right thing :).
happyhooligans
You raise a really interesting point about standing, Claudia. I had never considered that before!
Rach
i think that is my 3 years olds problem he pees like a champ doesnt even accidents at night or naps. He has sat on the toilet and we have read stories. But no poop he will even come tell me if he is in big boy undies that he has to phooie. He has had reflux since he was tiny and it really acts up when he is pooping so i think he likes to stand and move around for that reason. Any suggestions ..
Wink
I’m already frustrated with potty training. Sometimes my almost 3-yr-old would act out kicking me if I refused to put his diaper on. He’d cry for as long as he can unless I put on the diaper. I’ve done everything mentioned on here but nothing worked.
happyhooligans
I’m posting your comment on my Facebook page tomorrow morning at 730 am EST. Check in there to see if others have any solutions for you!
Amey
This is my problem with my 3yr old boy too. We have tried EVERYTHING. He doesn’t care about bribes or incentives, he doesn’t care about being in a spoiled diaper. He isn’t afraid of the potty, and will happily pour the poop out of his diaper into the toilet and flush it down. He just will not, not matter what, poop on the potty. I tried to search for the comments from your Facebook page from September 19, 2017, but I couldn’t find the post. Can you please tell me (or link me to) any helpful suggestions?
Jackie Currie
Oh gosh, we’ve had so many conversations about this issue on my page, Amey, but I don’t have links for them. I compiled some of the best suggestions for this post. Here’s one thread that I did keep a link to though. You may find it helpful: https://www.facebook.com/happyhooligansblog/posts/817336974983375
Alternatively, you can go to my Facebook page, and in the left hand sidebar, select POSTS. Then in the right hand sidebar, a field called “search for posts on this page” will appear. Type POOP into that field, and you’ll pull up all the posts related to that topic. You’ll see my potty training post appear often because I share it so much. Ignore those, and look for the “help a fellow follower” questions. I hope that helps!
Jo B
My son (only child) was VERY strong-willed, and had done everything else on his own time, usually earlier than expected. He pee trained by 2 1/2, but as we approached his 3rd bday, he was still not pooping in the potty. We were going on a cruise right after he turned 3, and I knew he would really enjoy being in the kids program, but he had to be fully toilet trained. So, I discussed his fears with him (sitting on the potty made him feel like he would get sucked in). I also explained that poop was the food our body didn’t need, so it didn’t keep it. We read several books about poop/fear of pooping/etc.
3 weeks til our cruise, we still hadn’t pooped in the potty. We were outside one day, playing with the neighbor boys (5 & 8) and something occurred to me. My son was VERY competitive, so I asked them, “Hey, do you guys poop on the potty, or in your pants?” Their faves scrunched up, and they said, “Eww. No way! Only babies poop in their pants! We poop on the potty!” I said nothing else about it.
The next morning, he pooped in the potty, and never looked back! After sharing this with several of my Mom friends, who were going thru the same thing, we helped FOUR other boys start using the potty, by asking my son the same question, in front of them!
So, if you have a competitive-personality boy (I can’t speak to girls), try it. Don’t make to big a deal of it…let them think it’s their own idea!